Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In April I set detjohnmunch's puppy on fire (-66 points). In August I gave det_jackharper a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In June I pulled over and changed det_alexeames's flat tire (15 points). In September I committed genocide... Sorry about that, abbiesvu (-5000 points). Last Monday I pushed nypd_rey_curtis in the mud (-17 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-5073 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, det_jaclyn_barr

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I've been a bad bad girl....;)

I understand why people don't -like- psych evaluations, but at least I shouldn't have to worry about this one. I'm on Cloud 9. *grins*

It's been a while since I wrote anything, so I figured I was overdue.

Mom met Alan, and it went fairly well.

( Private )

Alan's been in a really good mood lately, but he won't tell me why. *grins* He says I'll find out eventually, but I'm impatient. If anybody has an idea, I'd appreciate a hint.

Time goes by, and things keep changing. It appears Alan isn't the only associate from Crane, Poole, and Schmidt who has been transferred to New York. The Squid's here too,and she's staying. I mean, I trust Alan, so I'm not worried about him doing anything with her anymore. I just hope that I won't have to kick her ass until after Judge Ross's trial. He doesn't need the bad publicity.

( Private thoughts )

I had a long day. I went to work, and came home to find Katie Ross on my couch. From what little I know of Jamie Ross, she's definitely Jamie's daughter. Of course, true to form, I pissed Katie off while trying to make her feel better. I went outside to find her with her bags, and managed to convince her to come back. We are both basically strangers to her, so I can understand, but now she knows we are trying to help her.

Then, today, I went to work. Looks like Cerretta wanted my help with the Ross debacle. I had to refuse...Curtis didn't seem to take that too well. We did reach an understanding, though.

( Private )

Last night was, for lack of a better word, interesting.

After work, I get a call from Millie. She and Mike had something they needed to get done, and asked if I could babysit. Of course, I said sure. Then, I remembered where we live. To put it mildly, Alan Shore's sense of style is not baby-friendly. I threw a sheet over the couch and kept Isa there. Thankfully, I had some assistance in the form of Bastard. I never would have imagined a cat to be such a good babysitter, but he was.

When Mike and Millie came back, she was on the couch playing with the cat, and the sheet looked like it had spent the day in a MASH unit. I don't even know what some of those stains -are-. But, it wasn't bad. Not that I want to have a kid anyytime soon, mind you. I'm quite happy with 'give the baby back' privileges.

( Private )

Testing....is this thing on?

Well, I'm back from my vacation, and what's first up? A school shooting. Not just any school shooting either, but WWII all over again. Son of a bitch..It's not the first one either. Munch got shot in the ass investigating a similar case last year. I think I need to buy one of those hemmorhoid donut thingies and leave it on his chair for when he comes back. Between that and a tinfoil hat, I think he'd be happy.

We've got just about everything moved into the new apartment, finally. I've been helping Diane get settled in the old place too. This weekend was interesting. An old friend of Alan's from Boston, Ellenor Frutt, came to visit us with her daughter, Zoey.. I like them both. Ellenor is smart, funny, and can keep Alan on his toes. Zoey was just sweet, intelligent, and not a little heathen like so many other children I know.

( Private )

Heehee... If this interests you, the link is here.

Thanks go to Mike, Millie, and Vlad for helping me and Alan move. Thankfully, Alan made the probies move all the furniture. Other jobs as assigned, ha, lawyers write the best contracts.

I can't believe how much stuff I have...and I left a lot of it at the old place for Diane!! We're living together, officially. Crazy. At least I can rest assured that this time will be better.

( Private )

Jackie hadn't been at home very long when the phone rang. She picked it up, distractedly. "Hello?"

The voice on the other end was unfamiliar, and sounded surprised. It was obviously a woman with a British accent. "May I speak to Alan Shore?"

Maybe it was a client or something, Jackie thought, and asked politely. "May I ask who this is?" The woman's only response was "A friend of his."

Jackie didn't like that answer, so she decided to get to the point. "Really? So am I..no reason you can't tell me who you are then." The woman sighed, answering only "Tara Wilson." A light went off in Jackie's head. Tara was one of Alan's ex-girlfriends, in fact, the most recent. She dumped Alan to go chase after the drunken gropy Chris Noth, shortly before he'd come to New York. The annoyance in Jackie's voice was obvious as she continued. "Really? His ex-girlfriend...no wonder you didn't want to give me your name."

Tara responded in a cool British accent. "Then you must be the new girlfriend. Is he there?"

"My, you are quick. But, Tara, what makes you think he would want to talk to you anyway?"

"-Please- don't try to insult me." She paused briefly. "It's a personal matter."

Jackie smiled, the gesture lost over the phone. "Oh, I didn't -try-."

"You missed my point."

"No, actually, I didn't." Jackie continued. "I just fail to see what this personal business could possibly be....Hmm, this isn't going to turn out like Jerry Springer is it? You're pregnant and don't know who the dad is?"

Tara sighed heavily on the other end of the phone. "I thought he'd have better taste than someone like you. Though with his, penchant for hookers...I shouldn't have expected anything else."

Although Tara's comment irritated Jackie, she was able to keep most of the anger out of her voice. "Well, if you're an example of fine taste and breeding, I'm glad you were stupid enough to run off. "

Now it was Tara's turn to start getting agitated. "What I did is no concern of yours. Is he there?"

"It is my concern. I'll get him for you, but I don't want you contacting him -ever- again, here, at the office, wherever.. If you do, I will kick your ass. That is not a threat, it is a promise." Jackie then put the phone down before Tara could respond and went to Alan's office to get him.  She stopped in the doorway. "Alan, you have a phone call." She frowned a little. "It's Tara."

He sighed, rubbing his forehead as he answered. "I'll take it."

"Really, I have no problem hanging up on her." Alan looked at Jackie annoyed. "I'll take it."

"Ok.." Jackie hung up the phone, after considering eavesdropping. But, she settled for standing outside his office. She was only able to catch fragments of conversation from Alan's end. "He did what?.....Yes you know you can.." He paused. "No." As he continued discussing things, his voice grew in volume. "I said no..........Damn it........at least she would have the decency to end it personally." Jackie was pleased to hear what sounded like Alan defending her to that British bitch. But, as she listened, Alan was getting more annoyed. "I'm not doing that......I have enough of my own problems..." Jackie had to listen closely to try to catch the next part. "What happened in that conference room has nothing to do with----I've had enough of your amatuer psycho analysis.....No. Goodbye." Finally, he slammed down the phone, causing Jackie to jump a little bit.  *

After waiting a few seconds, she reappeared in the doorway. "Are you ok?" At first, he responded by leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. He was still annoyed. "What did she say to you?

"She said she had a personal issue to discuss with you, and we traded insults."

Alan nodded a little, before continuing to himself. "I thought she got the point, the last time."

Jackie remembered something. "Oh..and she took a shot at you too....said something about your penchant for hookers, and general lack of taste in dating me. That's when I informed her if she contacted you again, I'd kick her ass.."

Alan chuckled a little before adding "Please don't."

"All right..since you asked."

-------------------------------------------------

( Private )

It's official. My sister is taking my old apartment, and I'm moving. Next time I have to sign my name that many times, I'm thinking of getting a stamp.

Sooo...anyone interested in helping me move?

( Private )

To: Capt Munch
From: Det. Jaclyn Barr

Dear Cap,

I am submitting my request for vacation time starting now. I've been taking Corey's death harder than I thought and I fear I may have rushed back to work after my 'incident' prematurely. I'll still be around for the trial, if I'm needed.

Sincerely,

Jackie

I am mildly distubed by this..

Congratulations to Alex and Bobby. You two will be very happy together, I'm sure.

( Private )

Alan called. He's doing fine. He was quite amused by the messages left on his voicemail too.

( Private )

Eric Morris had what appears to be a seizure in the interrogation room. We need to know if he had a preexisting condition that could have caused the seizure.